so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize