i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
