I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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