If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
