This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
