hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
