Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
