legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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