At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
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I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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