he wants to bone in the snuggie
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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