no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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