Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
