i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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