You just made me feel so damn special
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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