have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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