i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
