I skipped work to stalk him.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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