they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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