There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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