Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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