OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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