I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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