don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
