If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
