Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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