It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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