I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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