I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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