I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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