May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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