Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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