Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
