my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize