I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
