i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
