Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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