its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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