found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
