It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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