So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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