God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
