So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
