Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
