No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
