So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
