is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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