my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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