i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize