it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
