Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
