I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
