If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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